The Makiav3llian Enchantment…

There was this particular time in my blog that I was slamming the RTA public transport service. Forget their overpriced taxi and stupid 10AED policy because apparently their head nachos all own expensive SUVs and salaries that will lure 60 year olds out of retirement.
Despite all this, after being away from Dubai for almost a year, only coming during the call of weekends or shopping urges, I can startsaying that the RTA seems to have done their jobs finally. I have my own policy aboutgetting jobs done, “It doesn’t matter how long the job takes as long as it gets done.” Well, the RTA have completed the following:

1. Get their air-conditioned bus waiting stations up.
2. Improve the city bus service

I mean with wasn’t a complete overhaul resulting to 90% total improvement. First of all the air-conditioned bus sheds as mentioned as the first of its kind in the Middle East. It is only pure logic when I say that during June, temperature hit as high as 45C to 50C. It simply makes sense to get these facilities or you have customers looking like soaked rags or looking for some other form of transport with taxis being their last resorts. The sun isn’t the thing that’s hot here; its the wind and pavement. Unfortunately, it took almost ayear and a half or even more to get there things working. This was the only complaint I had regarding about this. They advertised this facility as being available but these were not yet completed. There are still some of them awaiting completion and those which will never have it (due to building constraints, Karama Post Office area) but the point is that almost 80% seem to working. The air condition is working and its 20C cooler. Waiting for the bus was tolerable and it wasn’t about the temperature gettingon your nerves but because of bus frequency. This is a good start, I just hope that these facilities last a long time, yes they can turn off the air-conditioning during winter, and I hope they can be enjoyed by all (Unfortunately, the workers in Al Quoz are hard working people and you can smell the day’s work they’ve been through, it doesn’t smell pleasant at all!)
Now increasing the fleet of buses is a very good thing and the fact that these buses were not the same Benz or Scania models used before, makes me excited. The buses theyve got arelarger and longer buses with more space, comfortable seats and better air-conditioning. They accommodate more passengers and makethe trip a slightly better experience. More bus fleet means better timings right? Not really. But RTA is getting there! During this time of recession there aren’t too many cars on the roads now, some how you feel thankful that the roads are less congested but at the same time you have to feel sorry for the guys who lost their jobs because of this economic downturn.
So from what I heard, buses come in more frequently and is easier to ride on unlike the past 2 years where you were mentally and physically sapped out from a 1 1/2 hour bus ride. Aside for their 2AED cost (near or far) charge and card only policies on some of their buses, I really have to hand it to them. Honestly, I can’t wait to get on one of those double-deckers and hopefully zip from point A at point B at a fraction of the cost and a fraction of the time.
As for the DURL (Dubai Rapid Link), all I can say is that this thing should have been planned since the 1990s to address the expansion problem. The problem with Dubai is that the plans were how to make the city more financially expandable not to mention vertical for their insane high-rise aspirations. They completely forgot the population growth and with the emergence of business, of course you will need better transport facilities. So as for the DURL, a little bit too late but I guess we can bear with it. Where were you during my 3 years of work in DIC? I suffered long and hard along with the other people working there. Anyways, better late than never I always say. Its just funny that the transport system is built around known landmarks and shopping malls and not the other way around. I always thought that once youve established transport landmarks, buildings will come up around it, now I see some DURL stations cropping up in the tightest of places. Time will tell how this will go.

* By the way, as the title suggests, GTA5 or Grand Theft Auto V, there are unconfirmed reports that they will make Dubai the model city for the game. Believe me, I bet the roads would be wider there and it would be lovely just to free roam.*

The UAE has one of the cheapest gas costs around the world since it is one of the oil powerhouses in the Middle East. Unfortunately, taking a cab in the UAE is almost equivalent to the ones in New York. In a place where cars and gas is cheap, water and taxi fares are one of the highest commodities you can pay for here. However, the RTA has gone up one step better (worse) in the art of consumer mud hole stomping! If there was an award for worst way of making consumers suffer, this is one of the candidates for this award.
So what is it all about, well, to put it simply, short trips or the minimum fare will cost you 10AED. What is a short trip? A short trip is a taxi ride which is just a short distance of travel which is approximately 4.8Km. So if you travel 500m to 3Km, you will be charged 10AED as a flat rate, anything beyond that will incur regular charges. On a hot sunny day in Dubai and staying in Muraqqabat, a trip to Al Ghurair Center, roughly 1.4Km will cost me 10AED, when before it costs me 6AED or less when the meter runs on a flag down basis. And just to give you a clearer picture of this, I am staying in Al Ain and I pay 9AED for a 13Km trip, of course this is not Dubai and the taxi service is sub par compared to RTA. RTA used to charge 1AED per 800 meters, yes 800m not per 1KM, a taxi driver has told this to me and they change this rule to encourage longer travel, more profit and avoiding traffic infested areas. By the way, the increased their flag down from 3AED to 4AED, so my computation of 6AED X 0.8Km gives you at least 4.8Km of getting the taxi to travel round and round till you consume your 10AED.
A lot of people have had difficulty accepting this new rule and to tell you frankly, it’s quite a bad time to implement such strategies in the market. This is the time of recession and to some extent you could understand that this is just business but when you attack the consumer in this manner where it would seem more of profit making, then we see it in another light. It is not our fault that we don’t live in Jumeirah, and yes I know that most of your cab drivers love making rounds to really far places. It isn’t our fault that Karama is congested and Maktoum Bridge as well, either the roads were not big enough or there wasn’t a clamp down on car population control. If it wasn’t a crime to do car pooling (before the police department implemented it) then maybe there would be a slight drop in the number of cars, not to mention a very efficient bus service so that people would use them more. If you made the fares cheaper, then maybe the public would ride these taxis more.
I mean there are so many things that can be done to address these mere reasons for putting up such a tariff. Imagine tourists riding a taxi for 7AED just to get dinner, and then when they pay 50AED, they get 40AED in return, doesn’t create a favorable impression at all, and then you see the taxi driver who has difficulty speaking English, let alone read, point to a newspaper cutting about the fare tariff. One tip, remember, this is YOUT 10AED you are spending, make them earn it. If your trip is 2.5KM, then make them travel the extra distance, take the long cut!
Anyways, take a look at this article from Arabian Business and see Dubai do another first in becoming one of the most over rated and expensive places to live in. I know, its the place where I live in and I have no right to speak out like that but then again, I am not the only one with this complaint.

Dubai taxi fare minimum set at AED10
Friday, 03 April 2009

A taxi ride in Dubai will now cost a minimum of AED10, it emerged on Friday.
The increase comes after drivers complained that short trips wasted their time and hindered their efforts to hit their daily minimum targets.
While the starting fare will remain at AED4, transport chiefs have introduced the AED10 minimum fare with immediate effect, UAE daily Gulf News reported.
A Roads and Transport Authority (RTA) spokesperson told the paper that the final decision was taken on March 31 after consultation with the Dubai Taxi Agency and four other franchise taxi companies in Dubai. The new fare is effective immediately.

During my early days of Project-PC, I made one of the best investments. No, it wasn’t the PC I built, in fact it kept depreciating in value the day the parts arrived. I am actually talking about the Aramex Shop-&-Ship service. Shop-&-Ship is a service provided by Aramex, a popular Middle East courier service based in Dubai, that provides you with a US or UK business address. It allows you to purchase things online from any US/UK online retailer and have them delivered to your home in the Middle East. S&S has worked for me throughout the years, whether I want to get cheaper and hard to find computer parts or even start my “buy and sell” business, it truly was one of the better ventures I went with.
A visit to your local Aramex store within the GCC should be enough. GCC stands for Gulf CooperationCouncil which basically covers the six major countries in the Middle East peninsula (Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Qatar, UAE, Bahrain & Oman). So regardless if you move to another GCC country, youll still be able to use this facility. Aramexonly requires a passport & visa copy and a fee of 120AED. Once the processing is done you will be given a US and UK business address. Now you can order from most US or UK e-commerce sites and they can deliver it to your business address. The most common site you can use to get things is on Amazon.com and Google Checkout. The thing about it is that Amazon acts as a mediator to the business establishments it has on its site and one thing is that it accepts international credit cards. The problem is that dueto credit card fraud, some e-commerce sites do not allow purchases if the credit card and shipping addresses do not match. This is also one of the reasons why it is also difficult to purchase stuff on EBay if it has “PayPal Verified Shipping Address” written all over it. This is why Amazon and Google Checkout are the main online stores for S&S subscribers. EBay has potential but has limitations not to mention signing up for a PayPal account. The good thing about PayPal is that it acts as a CC without exposing your CC details, providing you security and you could avoid purchasing hassle from sites which do not accept international credit cards.

Well, this entry today goes out to a friend of mine from the US capital. I call her GAP girl because she works in the consumer fashion industry. Anyways, she going through a rough time right now and could be suffering from what we call home sickness. She’s got a bright career but then problems do come and go and unfortunately she is in a stage where all the troubles are piling up which even leads to the more advanced stages of home sickness.
So is there a cure for this? Is there the so called “chicken soup” for this type of sickness that doctors have not acknowledged? The thing about home sickness is that the patient is the only person who can tell if she is sick or not and the prescribed cure has a high percentage of failing. I am no doctor but the most common remedy that can cure this is friends/loved ones. As for me, I use three medications to help with this type of issue. They are a sense of humor, house hold chores and YouTube; of course you can add a dash of prayer and phone calls. Let me just elaborate on my choice of medication since I will be trying to treat Leah to something that could help her. I only offer half the remedy, a catalyst as I would say; the rest is up to her.
When you are usually feeling alone or troubled, sense of humor is always the first thing being attacked by the “solobako singulitus” bacteria (the loneliness germ). So basically, what I do is try to have this germ expunged by stimulating the sixth sense called sense of humor. Cracking up jokes, even the lamest helps. At the end of the day the thing is that you’ll be remembered because this what friends do? Cheer each other up when times are bad and when they are far away from you. A cure for a bad day is always a smile and a hearty laugh. If you really can’t smile about it, then I think the day of Armageddon has already arrived.
The second step of recovery is household chores. Nothing can help you forget of your loneliness unlike doing this activity. At the end, you either end up with a little pain on your back or a really clean house. Being idle is not just the devil’s workshop but just helps you remember how miserable you were. Do household chores, bake a cake, do part time work, be productive. This is what my father taught me and it will definitely do wonders for you.
The third thing you need is the internet. Believe me; nothing eats up more time than watching some funny videos on YouTube. I mean watch people make fools of themselves, sing with your favorite celebrity or chat with a long lost friend, it doesn’t cost a lot to do this and you are basically sharing the same virtual space with anyone, so you are not so far away. Of course if you can quit the forwarding chain letters and senseless emails, I’d appreciate it.
There are a lot of things people take for granted. I’ve been a product of overseas living; just imagine how miserable we were 15 years ago. Phone bills calling back home cost like gold, no internet, no mobiles or sms, no cable television that gave a taste of home. We basically had to call back the Philippines on a weekend since it was the cheapest time to do so, imagine people sending VHS recording of Eat Bulaga or Ginebra versus San Miguel Final series, and don’t get me started on the voice tapes… Consider yourselves lucky because technology just made the world smaller, it doesn’t matter which land mass you are staying in now, it’s about the air we breathe we share and those small messages sent from different mediums that actually help you forget that your loved ones is just a flight away. So stop sucking your thumb you big baby!

For those who are planning to give birth in the UAE or have already given birth and is thinking of how to get they baby under their sponsorship, one of the TipidPC’s proud daddies, Mr. Parusa has created this guide getting your little one sponsored.

In-depth Guide for Newborn Residence Visa in the UAE (Abu Dhabi)
Author: PARUSA (Maui Jaramillo, proud daddy)
Published: November 26, 2008

Fees:
AED 300 for 3 years residence visa validity
AED 30 for application form
AED 20 - 30 for typing
AED 15 for Empost

Requirements for the Immigration Office:

1. Application Form (from Typing Center)
2. One (1) Passport size ID Photo (White background)
3. Passport of Newborn Baby - Original + Copy
4. Birth Certificate (Authenticated English & Arabic) - Copy
5. Health Insurance Policy - Original + Copy
6. Passport of the Sponsor - Copy
7. Work Contract (from UAE Ministry of Labour) - Original + Copy
8. Salary Certificate (Arabic) of the Sponsor - Original + Copy
9. Empost sticker (to be filled up)

NOTE: Your baby have 120 days (4 months) to apply for a residence visa from birth.

Procedure:

1. Prepare all necessary requirements as much as possible with original and copy (B/W or colored) to avoid delays. Many people would ask how to apply for a Health Insurance Policy, you need to know that your company should provide this one as per UAE law.

2. Go to any nearest typing centers that offers immigration services. Provide the following:

One (1) Passport size ID Photo
Birth Certificate (Authenticated English & Arabic) - Copy
Health Insurance Policy - Copy
Passport of the Sponsor - Copy
Work Contract (from UAE Ministry of Labour) - Copy
Salary Certificate (Arabic) of the Sponsor - Copy

The typist will ask other details such as newborn’s mother’s name, sponsor’s P.O. Box (usually the office’s), mobile number in the UAE, home country contact number, etc… Just supply it to them and wait.

3. When Arabic translation / typing is done, of course pay the fee.

4. Go to the Immigration Office (ADNRD) - in Abu Dhabi, it’s on Al Saada Street; open from 7AM - 10PM

If you have the Empost sticker already, go to the Residence Visa Section immediately, which is on the right side when you enter the premises of ADNRD (Abu Dhabi Naturalization & Residence Directorate). Get a queue number.

If you don’t have any Empost sticker, don’t panic. Go to the back area of the department or ask around for the photocopying area where they sell Empost sticker.

When your queue number is called. Loaded with the application form from the typing center, give it to the immigration officer / attendant with the Newborn’s passport & your original Work Contract (from UAE Ministry of Labour).

They will take the application and passport only and will return the original Work Contract and MOI & Empost receiving stub stickers (do not lose this one).

End of Immigration Office.

The WAIT:

A SMS message from “MOI” in Arabic… Let your friend translate it for you if the message is “on the process”.

Empost will give you a call, deliver the Newborn’s passport with residence visa stamp within their working hours, usually 2-4 days. Give your MOI & Empost receiving stub stickers.

You’re done.

Now this guide is made for Abu Dhabi, the major difference here is usually the Immigration Offices, most of the procedures would be the same except for the fact where you get your baby’s passport.

The latest project I have been working on is my place of residence. For the past four months I have been staying in a room in “sharaa” Khalifa. All is well except now that I am bringing my wife and daughter with me, living with 13 other tenants in the flat seems impractical. I don’t really want to bad mouth my current place of accommodation and I know I haven’t really been the model tenant except when I am in my room. I never cleaned anything there since I was only stick to two places, my room and bathroom. I’ve never cleaned the kitchen since I never set foot there except for getting water and cleaning dishes, I never cleaned the bathroom because of the “pila” system, the only thing I cleaned was my room which was right in front of Khalifa street, which sucked because my room was a dust magnet.
I am now moving to an accommodation called a “shabiya.” A shabiya is basically an old villa owned by local residents, rented out by business minded sub-cons, which have been divided into parts and is being leased to anyone. Basically it is a flat that expands horizontally instead of vertically. Although my dad would never approve of such living accommodations, I believe this would do. It actually gets harder because this 2 bedroom shabiya requires 2 window type air conditioning units. So aside from the XXXX AED I have to shell out, I have to pay for electricity bill as well as the internet.
At the moment thought, these are trivial matters which I will not be concerned with at the moment. The next project is basically turning this shabby shanty into a livable home with a cozy atmosphere. Thus, I am so excited to get things up and running for me. I’ve bought the essentials for surviving and now to make it mine. Honestly, I am excited to be moving to a place which I can call my own. I mean living with my dad for years has basically taught me to be a bum, but now that I am on my own, I’ve learned to fend for myself. The transition to being a bachelor type of man has been smooth, it was as if I was designed for this type of living and hopefully when Angie and Isa come back, I can “serve” them. I want to treat my queen and princess the way they should be cared for. Hopefully at the end of the day, my shabiya will be my safe haven, my refuge, my home…
Check this album out and see me work…

My peers are always thinking how bored I must be in Al Ain. Being one of the most vocal member in TipidPC Middle East Chapter, most of the guys are thinking that I’ve become so lifeless (in our language we call it ‘bato’). On the contrary, despite popular belief that Al Ain is lifeless, it isn’t. I work up to 3PM which actually means half day’s work to some but unfortunately, there are a lot of things for me to do around here, so I don’t technically get “bored.”
As boring as it seems, I am actually doing household chores, either washing my clothes or ironing them. I’ve already mentioned a couple of times how this experience is a fulfilling one and after 3 months, my point of view has not changed one bit. This is really not fun for anyone but it sure beats staying idle all day. My dad had a way of beating home sickness when he was at Baku, it was simple… Just do your household chores. It keeps you busy, doesn’t cost anything and best of all you keep your house clean or have new cleaned / ironed clothes.
Things was tough when he was in Baku and as for us we grew in an environment where we had household help, we hardly lifted a finger at all. At the end we developed laziness to the point that my mom was shouting out instructions and you could clearly hear under her breathe how our lives would have been difficult when we get out into the "real" world. How a simple task could become such back breaking labor. Thank goodness that despite all this, I trained myself in the arts of cleaning and now that I live alone, I have managed to make the transition of Don Pepot to “masipag” Mang Jose. Although I am still at that stage that I am going to learn how to cook, I know I can manage as a bachelor and as a husband and even though you can’t really put ironing as a hobby on your CV, I can simply say is I’m the "real deal."

Well, it has been more than 3 months since I moved from Dubai. I still can not believe it that I am living in Al Ain. The thrill of the ride is still strong and I am enjoying it, meeting new people everyday. Hopefully, I will stay for more than 5 years or so and tell the newbies of my misadventures.
To the subject at hand, I just want to share a few changes in the streets I have grown accustomed to. Aside from Maktoum Bridge having the Salik toll gate installed, to be working soon, I have seen some changes in the Muraqqabat neighborhood. WE’ve already had two incidences of fire at the building where I used to live in, it is just a matter of time before the Ministry of Whatever claim our building a fire hazard and will need to be demolished. That building has been there for more than 15 years and it has served us well, now unless the real estate owners do something drastic, what I have just mentioned will become a reality.
Despite the aging of my building, new flats have started coming up. Unfortunately, despite the increase, the prices of flats will remain the same or eventually rise, it is a sad reality but this is how it is. The funny thing though, as I count the number of new buildings that rise, I see a new number of old buildings with new "paint" jobs. It is hilarious to think that some people will do to cover something up. I’ve stayed for more than 3 years in this neighborhood and this is the first time I have seen 6 buildings with new paint jobs. Is there a cover up here? I’ve seen these buildings and we know what they are. Theses falts are dilapidated, having so many tenants andhas the makings of fire violations and health hazards. I mean not all flats there are like this but this is the poisoned apple given to Snow White. Nice and shiny outside but rotten to the core on the inside.
I’ve got a simple principle about shared accommodation that I got from my father, the lesser the people staying the lesser the maintenance. These buildings have so much people making too much garbage, usage of building facilities, installations of dishes and etc., maintenance is really difficult to come by. Unfortunately, not everyone can afford a decent place to stay because another "rotten to the core" thing is taking over the realty companies, it’s called GREED. Sacrifice decent human living standards for a buck and a nice "paint job."

My friend Beth and I were actually chatting when we suddenly got talking about salaries. She actually is complaining how bad she felt that her husband is on the receiving end of the short side of the stick, managing around 20 people with outrageous working hours. I was actually assuming a small four digit salary but when she told me how much her husband got, I was a little surprised. I mean my friend and her husband were both earning in the five digit range. So what did this mean to me? At first I was envious about this whole thing, who wouldn’t be? I am earning just enough dough for my family. My wife and daughter’s disposition is understandable and I know my wife tries so hard to bring in extra income, she’s lost so much sleep trying to help me. I am so proud of my wife and how she manages things for me, though she doesn’t know, I just want to keep bringing in the bacon and she enjoy her motherhood or go to work when she chooses. Of course reality kicks in and at the end you suddenly feel that bitterness that comes with other people’s success. Now let me tell you what you can do about it… Well, absolutely nothing because the only thing you should have feeling for is happiness for your fellow man. Bitterness is an ingredient of envy, the best friend of crab mentality… Why would you want to bring this person down? Just because he/she has tasted success doesn’t mean you have the right to bring down the efforts of their work. Yes I feel jealous but at the same time I feel proud of my own success and the others as well. Instead of being a crab, I think it is just better to be happy for them. Besides the numbers you make is just mere status symbol, would you like to be known only because of the money you make? Be happy because there are other people that could be in worse position than you. Besides it is not about how much money you make, it is how you use it to be of benefit to the people you love. Thanks to Rona of reminding me about it’s not the amount you get but who you want to spend it on.

I’ve been getting queries from a lot of people, Mak, how much does it take to survive in Dubai? How much can I send back home if my salary is so and so… Fortunately, I do have an answer to all these inquiries but unfortunately, much like breaking up, there isn’t a really a good way to say it particularly if you have a family to support back home. So the 6 Million Dollar question is… Can I save any money if I get 3000AED as salary? The answer is a BIG and resounding NO. Let me give you a break down on how this thing goes…

Accommodation:
Minimum: 500AED                        Optimal: 700AED

With this budget, you simply get a bed to sleep in and your very own version of Big Brother, Dubai Edition. Of course, you share a room with maybe 4 people and a cabinet to put your stuff in, other than that, that is the best this budget can buy. You may get lucky from time to time with the place having facilities like an automatic washing machine, television with TFC and wireless internet. Of course, it increases your bill by a little but having an automatic washing machine is next best thing to having a maid around. You can’t get it any cheaper unless you love in Sharjah or on the outskirts of Dubai. Majority of the time you will be living with people from the Philippines but there will be instance that there will be other nationalities staying with you, this makes for Pinoy BB with an international flavor! Expect times when you are trying to get along with everyone, factions, petty quarrels and all sorts of drunken misadventures to happen every now and then. This is the UAE experience, LIVE it, love it.

Food:
Minimum: 400AED                        Optimal: 600AED

Unless in the place you stay you have internal arrangement with your flat mates, expect to be shelling out this much on your budget. I am sorry to say but don’t expect the best of Mom’s good ol’ cooking unless you really listened to you mother way back and cooked. You get what you pay for, budget price = budget meal. Breakfast will consist of coffee and some bread or head to the office and order egg paratha (3AED) from your local cafeteria. Of course you will have a decent meal at least once every week and more often than not, you may find yourself eating out at your local shwarma (3.50AED) joint more often than you think. So, unless your budget consists of Chicken Tikka (9AED) meal at Karachi Darbar, you may not have healthy eating habits but you will get your fill.

Transport:
Minimum: 400AED                        Optimal: 600AED

Transport as you know is very expensive in the UAE. Why 400AED, this is unless you have company service, you spend 350AED minimum on Fancy or Avis. It’s not as cheap as it use to be but at the end of the day you tell yourself that you are so thankful that you didn’t take the Dubai "overcharge" Taxi or RTA "always full and late" Bus. If you do decide to go to work with the RTA bus, you can bring the costs down to 150Aside from this, you would need to allocate some dough on your gimmicks, regardless if it is bus or taki, you may end up spending more than 150AED per month on transportation expenses.

Miscellaneous:
Minimum: 800AED                        Optimal: 1200AED

You wouldn’t believe me if I actually told you guys that I live off a 500AED budget per month on miscellaneous which actually includes my transport budget. Miscellaneous is basically additional expenses which includes your gimmicks, trips to the movie, ice cream and Starbucks Coffee. You can also include the minimum amount you are paying to your credit card because of that new iPhone you just had to buy but have no idea how to use it. Believe me, there are many things you will spend so unnecessarily not because you need them but because it’s the only thing that gives you a feeling of fulfillment. It also gives you that feeling that you are a cut above the rest, unfortunately, as much as you think how your mobile phone gives you your status symbol, show my your bank account and the number of credit cards you have… Nuff Sed.

This is only the tip of the iceberg really; there are some many things you have to put into consideration when doing the budgeting. Besides, I’ve only given you the expenses, what about the money you are suppose to send back home. So taking into account the minimum expenses with a salary of 3000AED, the grand total you take home is 900AED. That roughly falls into 10115PhP, not including the deductions for sending it by money transfer and the deductions made by the banks. Now think, after a work schedule of six days a week, ten hours per day and a snobby SOB boss to boot, is 10K really worth all this trouble? Then again, at least you survive in a foreign land and you are the new generation of Pinoy heroes, the proverbial OFW.

As a requirement of due process, I was asked to present a Police Clearance to my (secret!). As you may need to present authentication of your clean records to a new employer, embassy or anyone requiring to know how clean your soul is, this is the procedure you need to know on how to obtain a Police Clearance. In the United Arab Emirates, the Police Clearance is also known as Certificate of Good Conduct, I honestly couldn’t help but chuckle on how it’s called since it looks like a school boy access pass to the bathroom.
To start of the entire process, you actually need to go to the Criminal Investigation Department located at Dubai Police Head Quarters [map] near Al Mullah Plaza going to Ghusais, there is also an existing office in Bur Dubai for those living in Satwa and the surrounding areas. The process to obtain this is actually not that complicated however, because of a slight “literary” barrier, it makes the whole thing tedious. The process is to simply inform the "desk" sergeant that you want to get a Police Clearance, once you get the application form, you are asked of three things:

1. Original Passport with Copy
2. (2) Passport Size, personal photographs
3. An Applicant must be holding at least six months old residence visa from UAE.

Aside from this, there are two sides of the form, one in English, the other in Arabic. Now this is where things get a little bit messy. If you are an Arab and write on the form both English and Arabic, they accept it. If you, particularly Asian, ask, they want you to go to the typing center and have it typed out. Unfortunately, there is no typing center in sight and the nearest one you can find is across the street… Oh let me correct myself, across the Al Itihad Street (Sharjah-Dubai Highway/Tunnel), where there is no existence of a footbridge and with the ongoing construction of the Dubai-Sharjah flyover, there most likely never will. So part of the painful process of claiming your innocence is actually getting to the typing center and you can only get to the other side by going towards the Al Mullah Plaza Roundabout and going to the Old Labor office, which is inconveniently located, where else but on the other side.
Once you actually get to the typing center, nothing special occurs, they just check your visa, copy the details and type it out. They charge you 15AED for the whole thing and you have to painstakingly walk back to the police station. After giving the paper to the sergeant, he makes a final assessment and asks you to pay up at the counter. You pay a fee of 110AED, be given the date to pick up your Good Conduct Certificate (yes I am smiling) and will be asked to go to Room 10 for a photo and finger print scan. Basically, the 110AED is payment for all the high tech equipment used to tag you and paper they use to print your certificate. Despite the latest technology of the Sagem scanner, it took me 15 minutes to complete the whole thing as sweaty palms prove to be the downfall of this device. “Pilipini problem…” grumbled the corporal. Anyways, after 15minutes of scan-error-try again-wipe-scan, it was done with. It took me 1 hour to get the walking and typing done, 25 minutes for paying and scanning. Over all, the cost of your innocence is 125AED, which is quite a big amount if you ask me… and without a typing center near by, it’s not just money you spend, you might add time as well.

As OFWs, we usually get coined with the terms “bagong bayani”, milking cow and remittances. As I have been reading recently there is an email circulating about not sending remittances on November 1 & 2. Its purpose is to actually show the government that the OFWs are protesting against the strengthening of the peso that from 55PhP per USD which is down to 43PhP per USD.
I’ve written a blog entry before stating out the obvious losses we incur. Unfortunately, currencies have lost value yet the prices of commodities remain the same. The thing is that the USD amount is not the only factor determining prices, there is a thing called "black gold" which is more prevalent in the market and where sensitive changes in its prices affect basic commodities. Besides, oil indirectly affects how manufactured goods are made and delivered.
So what is this ranting all about? It is about protecting your hard earned dough when sending it back home.
Let me give you one tip as well as expose one of the weaknesses of sending remittances through your regular door to door or Peso bank transfer. We send out money through Thomas Cook, Al Fardan or Al Ghurair Exchange, they charge accordingly around 15AED to 20AED per transfer. Now, these establishments have established deals with banks in the Philippines such as PNB, so on and so forth, these amounts are higher than the normal bank rate of exchange (ROE). The amount you see being shown in the news is actually "black market" rates. When you go to the bank, you will see that it is significantly different. In the news the rate is 44.02PhP per USD while bank rates are at 43.60PhP per USD. The local money exchange will have the amount of 43.80PhP per USD. This is where you start to see the difference and although you will say the amounts are insignificant, let me enlighten you. Bank rate difference from the black market rate is .42c while local money exchange difference is .22c. Now the bank’s deal with the money exchange company assuming that the amount is 43.70PhP per USD for our OFW. So there is still a .10c difference. Of course aside from this and the money you send is subjected to some form of tax. Of course if it is a door to door thing, you will also have to pay the person delivering the money.
Now, here is my method. I use a Dollar account from PNB. The money I send is actually in USD so i don’t actually lose out on the bank’s ROE. The money is converted to USD in Dubai and sent to my Dollar account back home. The person there just needs to withdraw the money and go to the local money exchange. So if it is the conventional method versus my method, your 100USD will be 4370PhP while my 100USD is 4380. Of course that is not a big difference, but you have to take note that this is just an assumption of the bank’s deal with the money exchange, it could be less. Besides, what if you send 2000USD, you lose out on 200PhP extra, which to some is still a big deal. The only hassle to my method is that you have to take the money out and get it exchanged, however, the advantage is that you don’t get screwed by the bank.
To sum it all up, if you send money home, everything goes through the bank. It depends if you want the bank to take advantage of you.